Everyone is feeling the recessional pinch. Here at MS, they just installed pay toilets and everytime we go to cash our checks, they RROD
I was taking a smoke outside today and Milton the restroom attendant said MS is planning on starting a rumor that Mr. Jobs is not taking a medical leave but that the leave of absense is due to him signing on to play the next Professor X in the new X-Men movie.
Can you believe MS sent a memo out saying they will be deducting from our checks if they catch any employee purchasing this game. So we held Gladiator matches in the break room. We taped phone books to our chests, sharpened broken broom handles for spears, and used lunch trays as shields. I lost to Brenda the cafeteria lady :(
i had too much chilli today so i made the rest room my home for about an hour. anyway while i was in there, 2 MS execs came into saying they will be running non-stop Too Human commercials taht will air the same time this event is going on and they will be paying journalists in MS Live points to cover the DLC for Too Human and Banjo.
well i was sitting at my desk having a coke and a smile and i heard some employee grumblings about lay offs. they say MS is laying us off to buy supposed companies attempting to enter into the console biz. Even the manager of the FUD Dept said he was no longer going to fund websites for giving KZ2 nothing higher than a 6.5.
I was actually talking to a janitor in the building and he said there were plans for microsoft to actually buy the entire internet so we as employees could expect a nice bonus, but anyway, they are buying the internet to create a "We Hate Sony" cult starting at sites such as Gametrailers, Gamespot, Kotaku. That way no one discusses our lack of exclusives, hardware failure, or made up sales numbers
i was on my lunch break eating my cheese sandwich and overheard some higher ups saying how they planned on buying more Sony Franchises to make up for the lack of exclusives we have. One even stated RROD was a ploy purposely created at MS to get ppl to talk about the 360 and not talk about our lack of games.
I had more than my fair share of Crystal Light today so I dashed to the rest room. In there, Mr. Greenburg himself came in and asked me a paculiar question: "Hows it hanging?" I said, "A little to the left." I also said, "Sir what do we have that will be along the lines of KZ2" "Well son, we have hope, money, and internet FUD. This year MS is going religious cuz Lord knows we don't have much else."